22 Comments
User's avatar
Fragments and the Dark's avatar

At first I really thought it would be a magical, lovely happy-end, but then it got dark within two sentences! 😳 Really cool! 🖤

Words about things and stuff's avatar

I’m so glad you liked it. I’m a bit behind… on everything… but the image gave me an idea and I had to run with it!

Rebekah Mallory's avatar

Well, that was a surprise ending!

Words about things and stuff's avatar

Thank you… for this one the idea sort of came backwards. I knew how it ended. I just needed to figure out how to get there.

Mark Crutchfield's avatar

Haha. Loved it Dave. Such a great ending, and one I wasn't expecting at all!

I love the way it's written as well as the story. It feels almost bureaucratic and noted down in a way an accountant would.

Smashing response to the prompt!

Words about things and stuff's avatar

Nice. Thank you so much! I actually had that in mind a little bit when writing it. Very matter of fact.

Mark Crutchfield's avatar

Ace. It works really well :)

Rachel Kienitz's avatar

I love the image of her having red paint on her hands, it feels sinister, like what’s coming, and then Bam! That’s it. Very well written.

Words about things and stuff's avatar

Thank you so much! I was hoping for a BAM moment. I’m glad it delivered!

Clara J. Thorne's avatar

Geez.

Meg Floss's avatar

Love a turn!

Petra's avatar

The warm beginning makes the ending hit pretty hard.

Words about things and stuff's avatar

Funny thing is I sort of came up with this backwards and had to figure out how to work my way up to the ending.

Petra's avatar

You did so quite well. <3

Petra's avatar

My pleasure!

Alicia's avatar

The twist was epic!

JESL's avatar

You'll never get anywhere with this blithe, ungrounded optimism, Flopsy.

James K's avatar

Love is when your happiness is dependent upon another person's happiness

RiseToFreeThinking.'s avatar

Plot twist, another day in paradise.... She ended up on anti-psychotic meds and he ended up being raped by an angry mob. And his son killed one of them.

They didn't believe it because they assumed he was a little bitch.

So he never got charged.

And the mole dug on....