They Meet
From Book One. The Girl Witch
Longs-For-The-Wild did not like the new poop scooper.
The new poop scooper was stupid.
Longs-For-The-Wild wanted to poop in peace. He just wanted the poop scooper to go away until he was finished.
“What are you doing to that poor horse?”
Longs-For-The-Wild snapped his head to look
Who said that?
It wasn’t the poop scooper.
It wasn’t one of the other horses.
Who else was there?
There was a human at the door, but it couldn’t be her either.
“You leave that poor thing alone!”
It WAS the human at the door!
A girl human.
Longs-For-The-Wild had never seen her before.
Why could he understand her?
She stepped inside.
“Hello you big, beautiful horse, you. Is he bothering you?”
Was she... talking... to him?
“The stupid poop scooper won’t leave me alone.”
“You poor thing. What’s he doing to you?”
She WAS talking to him!
She was very nice. How was she doing it though?
The poop scooper was looking at her too. His stupid mouth was hanging open. If he wasn’t careful, a bug would fly into it.
“I just want to be alone when I poop,” he neighed. “And the poop scooper keeps bothering me.”
Randulf looked and listened for the village boys. Something very strange was going on. Surely, it was a prank of some sort.
Or maybe the stablemaster had put the girl up to this.
Whoever she was, Randulf had never seen her before. Maybe she was visiting from another village.
He had been teased as a boy. Why would being a man be any different? He had hoped it was something grown men no longer did. Maybe they still did.
Randulf had work to do, and he was determined to do it well.
“I d-d-d-don’t kn-kn-know who y-y-you are, b-but I n-n-n-need to g-g-get b-back to w-w-w-w-work.”
The girl stepped forward and held a hand up at Randulf. Not to Randulf, but definitely AT him.
Randulf had seen that gesture before. It was the kind of hand people used when they were talking to someone who mattered more than him.
He saw that hand a lot.
He hated that hand.
“I like to be alone when I poop too. You poor thing. You really are a beautiful horse, you know.”
She lowered her hand and turned to Randulf.
“He is asking if you will go away. He has to poop and wants to be alone. He called you stupid, but I don’t think that was very nice of him to say.”
Randulf’s jaw dropped.
Whoever this girl was, she was obviously very good with horses. She must have been kin with the stablemaster.
The horse whinnied.
She spoke to the stallion again.
“Well, I don’t think he meant to be rude. You said it was his first time here. Maybe he just doesn’t know better.
What was happening? Was she trying to convince him that she could actually talk to the horse?
Randulf had been fooled many times before. He would not let it happen this time.
He was a man now!
It was then that Randulf noticed two very strange things about the girl.
The first was that there was a moth on her shoulder and she didn’t swat it away.
The second thing was that she had a cap in her hand.
His cap.
Signy didn’t come to the village meaning to disobey her parents. It just happened.
She couldn’t just ignore the stallion when she heard him.
He was very unhappy.
He hated the stall.
He just wanted to be left alone.
The stable boy just stood there at the entrance to the stall not doing anything.
He had no cap and he looked young. Maybe he was confused.
“He says he wants to you leave him alone so he can poop.”
The stable boy just gawked at her.
She motioned for him to leave the stable.
He didn’t move.
The stallion spoke up. He really needed to go.
“I really need to go. Can he at least take me outside or something? I can go there.”
Signy stepped closer to him.
“I’ll ask, okay.”
The stable boy was still frozen.
Signy started to wonder if there was something wrong with him.
“He asked if you can take him outside...”
She thought to herself, then added, “... which seems like a good idea. That way you can clean and he can poop. Everybody gets what they want.”
The stable boy finally spoke, though what he said was very surprising.
“W-w-w-w-why d-d-d-d-do y-you h-h-have m-m-m-mmmy c-cap?”
Signy looked at the stable boy closely. He did look like he might be old enough to be a man.
She held up the cap.
“This is yours? How did it end up in the river?”
Wincey fluttered to the cap and landed on it.
“You should just give it back.”
Wincey was right.
“Of course. Of course. Here’s your cap.” She held the cap out towards the stable boy... or stable hand. “I washed it for you.”
Slowly, the stable boy... or stable hand reached for it. He inspected it carefully, then put it on his head. It fit perfectly.
It really was his!
“H-h-h-h-how a-a-are y-y-yyyou d-d-doing th-th-that?”
“Doing what?”
Signy wasn’t sure what he meant. She had never met anyone who talked like him before. He talked really slowly. She had talked to slower before. Like snails. They were REALLY slow.
“P-p-p-p-pr-pretending t-to t-t-t-talk to th-th-them.”
Signy wrinkled her face, confused.
“Pretending? I’m not pretending.”
Whoever this girl was, she was making Randulf angry.
Why couldn’t they leave him alone?
Ever.
All he wanted to do was be left alone.
Was that really too much to ask?
“N-n-n-n-not f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-ffunny. G-g-g-g-go aw-w-w-w-way.”
She put her hands on her hips.
“You don’t have to be so rude. I can help you, you know?”
She turned to the moth like it said something, then she added, “oh yeah. And you didn’t even say thank you for bringing your cap back.”
She was right.
Randulf hated that she was right. He hadn’t thanked her. He was raised better than that.
If it had been his father...
The stallion stomped his hooves and let out a whinny.
Randulf did not know horses well, but he knew enough to tell that it wasn’t a happy sound.
The girl stepped closer and rubbed his neck.
“I know, I know. I’m trying to get him to take you outside.”
She pressed her head against his nose.
“I’ll ask again.”
She turned to Randulf.
“Look, even if you don’t believe me, please just take him outside. He just doesn’t want anyone to see him poop.”
She stepped away.
“Can you blame him? I wouldn’t want anyone watching me poop either.”
He wished she would just go away, but it was clear she wasn’t.
His fear, his expectation, was that he would do as she said, lead the horse out, and the village boys would be there. He just knew this whole thing was some terrible prank.
What could he do?
If he went out, they would get him.
If he let her take the stallion out, he would look like a coward, plus the boys had already taken his cap; there was no way he was going to let them get away with taking an entire horse!
The girl was going way too fast. Randulf needed to slow down and take one thing at a time.
He would thank her for the cap first, then ask her again to leave so he could get back to work.
“I’m-m-m-m-m s-s-sorry. Th-th-th-tha-th-th-thank y-y-y-yy-you f-f-f-for m-m-my c-c-c-cap.”
She looked at the moth. It fluttered its wings. Then she turned back to Randulf, looking into his eyes.
“No, I think he meant it, Wincey. His eyes look like he means it.”
To Randulf, she said, “you’re welcome. And now about your poor horse here. I’m really not kidding. He has to go... now.”
The stallion stomped and neighed.
He was upset. Randulf could tell that much, but people couldn’t talk to animals, and he was sure it was some kind of a trick. His whole life had taught him tha....
PLOP- PLOP. PLOP.
Oh. He really did need to poop.
PLOP-THUD.
The last one landed on Randulf’s boot.
The girl shrugged her shoulders and smiled.
“I tried to tell you.”
The horse whinnied.
She put her hand on his cheek.
“I know. I know. I’m so sorry that happened.”
The stallion snorted.
“Okay. I’ll tell him.”
The girl looked at Randulf.
“He says he hates you.”
She looked down, maybe at the poop on his shoe, then added, “I don’t hate you though.
Then she turned around and simply walked out the way she came in. The moth fluttered after her.
Randulf stood for a moment, baffled by what had just happened.
He ran outside, not so much after her, but to see if there really were any of the village boys out there laughing at him.
The yard was empty.
I also like to be alone when I poop. Come any closer and I’ll do it on your shoe, too.💩